“If you’re gonna be dumb, you better be tough!”

Wise words from a Montana local.

If you don’t already know…

There is an Instagram page called @touronsofyellowstone. It highlights all the dumb things tourists (aka Tourons) do to the animals and nature in Yellowstone National Park.

This blog post will help you avoid making a mistake that gets you featured on that Instagram page.

Yes… I know getting featured sometimes makes you cool but not this feature. Having your face and your footage on there is basically like wearing a cone of shame.

It’ll make you look like “an ignorant bald head” (Ras Trent, the Lonely Island)

To help you avoid the Touron Title of Shame for Yellowstone National Park (and every national park) I will list pointers below.

1) Do not take selfies with the animals. Why? Because they are wild and can easily kill you. Also, if something kills or attacks you, the park will most likely kill it, and everyone will hate you.

2) Please, for the love of sunsets, don’t park your car in the road! That is one of THE MOST annoying things people do. They slow down to look at an elk or stop, and get out of their car while they are stopped in the road.

Remember, people live there and have to get to work and if you’re blocking the roads, it can cause accidents, road rage, and delay emergency responders. Accidents happen all the time in the park because of that.

3) Don’t approach animals. Just don’t. People always try and get closer to them and again, if the animal hurts or kills you, the animal will get punished, and no one will like you.

4) Stay on the very clearly and intentionally marked paths. The ground is BRITTLE and often shifts or cracks under any amount of pressure.

Fun fact about Yellowstone geysers: most of them are not boiling water. Most of them are highly acidic and melt whatever touches them. I can’t imagine you want to boil or get melted by acid.

Another fun fact: much of the ground surrounding the geysers is a living organism. It’s a bacterial mat that takes hundreds of years to develop, and one footstep could destroy it.

5) Do pee and poo in the toilets. Please. Yes. I’ve seen people takin’ a dump or peeing off the board walks. It’s a real douche move.

I don’t have a picture of this, but I have seen it happening.

6) Do drive the speed limit and only pull out on designated areas. Please don’t be the person that gives me anxiety by driving 2 miles per hour.

7) Pick up your trash, aka leave no trace. I can’t stress this enough.

As you can see, it is pretty simple to not be a Yellowstone National Park touron. Millions of people succeed at it every year!

Share this article with the world to help make Yellowstone National Park a safer place for the animals, the employees, other guests, and yourself.

Remember, these tourist tidbits apply to all national parks. For an amazing and fun comprehensive list of the best national parks, click HERE.

Happy Travels!